Learning To Love You More
HELLO ASSIGNMENTS DISPLAYS LOVE GRANTS REPORTS SELECTIONS OLIVERS BOOK

 ASSIGNMENTS:

 

 

Assignment #53
Give advice to yourself in the past.

Erin
Sunshine Coast, AUSTRALIA

REPORTS:

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To Erin aged 12
1. You are most assuredly NOT fat, in fact you have a lovely figure
2. Do not shave your legs or armpits
3. Do not pluck your eyebrows yourself
4. Do not be concerned with the other girls who are bitchy to you, in years to come they will marry abusive partners and become real estate agents
5. Especially don't feel self conscious about your newly developed breasts, next year when you get into high school the girls who call you Dolly Parton will shut up real quick - it will take some of them years to develop breasts as lovely as yours
6. Do not steal your Mum's cigarettes - you will get caught
7. Do spend more time talking to Papa - in two years he will be gone forever and you will miss him
8. Go see a Nirvana concert - Kurt Cobain will die in few short years and you will deeply regret not going
9. Do keep up ballroom dancing lessons - it becomes really popular a few years later, and also your dance partner gets really hot in the next couple of years
10. Be nicer to Mum and Dad - you have things really good at home
11. Invite that kid who always used to give you nits over for dinner now and then - he has things really bad at home and loves you and your family - even if people tease you for being friends with him
12. Do NOT give the kid with the red hair who sits in front of you your juice box from lunch - sugar makes him really hyperactive and he throws a chair at the teacher and you get in trouble
13. The man living next door is a paedophile - he molested your friend up the road but no one will find out for about 4 years - never let your little brother go over there alone