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Anna Corkhill
Melbourne, AUSTRALIA
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REPORTS:
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Sent to: Le Monde, The New York Times, The Hogwash Times, The New Strathdickie Chronicle
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
WHIMSICAL GRADUATE STUDENT MISSES FATHER, TAKES UP COOKING HIS FAVOURITE RECIPES
18 NOVEMBER 2008, Melbourne, Victoria
Preston student Anna Corkhill, 22, was yesterday found to be lamenting the fact that her father and sister were both in Europe, as she missed them both terribly. Ms Corkhill, a graduate student at Melbourne University, said that there were certain things that reminded her of her father and sister and was attempting to integrate them into her daily life so she could pretend they were actually there. She was found to be cooking Thai green chicken curries from scratch more frequently than usual, peppering her speech with a large number of puns and breaking out into nonsensical rhyming couplets, a few of her father's most unique characteristics. She was also found to be listening to a large selection of gypsy-inspired local music and breaking out into energetic dance moves, as she did when in the company of her sister, who is currently residing in London. When interviewed yesterday, Ms. Corkhill said, "Since my Dad has been in Italy, I have been making up for the lack of terrible puns and off-key singing in my life by trying to reproduce these effects myself. Sadly, my housemates are less than impressed. Their usual response is a half-hearted groan and an attempt to shut me up." An attempt was made to elicit a response about this uncharacteristic behaviour with one of the housemates, Mr. Aidan Murphy. However, when asked what he felt about these recent events, he only shook his head and sighed. Ms. Corkhill eagerly awaits reuniting with both her father and sister.
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