Learning To Love You More




Assignment #53
Give advice to yourself in the past.

Erin B.
San Diego, California USA



Advice to Erin at 16
Stop being so critical of your brother. Start learning from him...he actually has his shit together. In fact, stop being so critical of everyone, starting with yourself. Learn about the law of attraction. What you believe and think about is exactly what you draw to yourself. The gloomy and pitiful feelings you express in your journal are valid, but they are not YOU. You are not "always alone", you are not unlovable, you are certainly not a loser. By identifying with these things, you are drawing experiences into your life that validate them. STOP! Please work on loving yourself. You are an amazing person with a great spirit, and this is a time when you are really hurting yourself. Hold on to who you are, you are great. Don't worry about boys so much. I promise, you will have plenty of experience with them. They will kiss you, they will hug you, they will fall in love with you. You are worth it and you are lovely! The worry you feel about boys will really hurt you in the future if you don't chill out. Relax. Relax. Breathe. Learn from people like Katie, who are independent and driven. Avoid the need to follow the crowd- later on you will realize that it's much more liberating to do your own thing. And after years of following the crowd to the t, it can be a hard thing to cultivate. The people who you deem as "wierd" will eventually be the people you admire. Embrace the wierdness in yourself and in others. Loosen up!! Do not...I repeat do NOT...worry about your weight. You are the skinniest you will probably ever be at this age, and you look fabulous! You have a wonderful, curvacious body. It doesn't matter that you don't have big boobs...sorry to say you just never will! But I promise, it really doesn't matter. Take art classes! Take so many art classes while mom and dad will pay for them! Take art classes in school, take art classes in college. Join the art club! Hang out with Cathy Lebongo- she will turn out to be one of your greatest friends (random, right?) She is an amazing soul, and you will find out that you are unexpected soul sisters. You have a future together- start it now! She brings out the best in you. Appreciate your mom. Appreciate all that she does to help you love yourself. It is her greatest lesson. It is the thing you really need to hear the most. Don't worry that your mom only praises you "because she's your mom and she has to." She praises you because she is a wonderful spirit who knows the immense value of self love. Learn this lesson from her, and thank her every day for trying to teach it to you. Stop doing the "elvis face" and scoffing when you are annoyed. It really isn't very becoming, and it will eventually be an ingrained habit! ( Although it does turn out to be a sorta silly joke.) Learn about money for yourself. Your parents don't know what they are doing...they haven't prepared you and if you don't develop a healthy attitude about money- for yourself- you will experience a lot of pain surrounding this issue. Bill can help! Read his books, ask for his advice, take an interest in his interest in money! Do this now so that you have a handle on it later...trust me! Try not to procrastinate...it's a bad habit that you will always be trying to break. Embrace the inner nerd, neat freak, organized gal inside of you. It is a great quality that you have right now, and that you might begin to lose a bit later on. It's something you will wish you had held onto. Express yourself! You have a lot of great things to say and do and be...don't be afraid to express how you REALLY feel to the world. Don't waste your time being jealous or insecure at the dance studio. Take the wonderful opportunity of practicing dance at a great studio and live it to the fullest!! In fact...you have SO many opportunities available to you right now- clubs to join, people to meet- really try and do more. Stop being such a slacker and do more of the amazing things that are at your fingertips! Your social life is not the center of your world...try and cultivate a sense of balance. Time spent alone in mediation and thought are JUST as valid as time spent with friends. The boys that you like, that you think it is obvious you like, have no clue you like them. You are just really bad at letting boys know you like them- so be a little more obvious! There are some crushes that you can definately date if you approach them with actual flirtation and confidence. The popular crowd at your school is really just a bunch of normal kids. You will be friends with them after high school. You are not different from them in any way. Everyone will chill out and be equal after high school, so try your best to see it that way now. Above all...I will repeat...love yourself. Even if you feel down- love yourself first. You are your worst critic, especially now, and you don't need to be. You are amazing.