Learning To Love You More




Assignment #51
Describe what to do with your body when you die.

Adele Carpenter
Oakland, California USA



If I died, I guess it would have to depend on how I died, like, whether my body was very recognizable. I guess, though, that either way, these are the particular arrangement or constantly birthing and dying cells that has housed me for 23 years, and people can appreciate that no matter what.
I would like my body to be handled firmly, but with care. Like the people who are touching my body know my body and aren't scared of it, maybe like they love my body, even. I would want my body to be handled by people who knew me, and loved me and my body. I would want these people, my lovers, x-lovers, best friends, my mom to hold my body from behind and put both their palms over my heart and hang on to my shoulder for a minute. I guess it could be scary to feel my body without any blood moving or warmth to it, but I hope they wouldn't care. I hope they would handle me like a favorite, loved garment that there is so much goodness, and love and luck wrapped up in, one that has been places and is familiar, when it starts to go threadbare.
Since they couldn't sew my body into a quilt, I guess I hope they would dress it in things pieces of clothing that really belong to my body, I think they'de know which ones and have me cremated. I would like them to each build little ships out of different things, things they've found or had and are ready to let go of, offerings, important things, all different ships. I would want them to put my ashes on the boats with wishes, letters, requests from me written on rolled papers and launch off the tiny boats one by one at a ceremony, somewhere on salt water. maybe the boats with my ashes and the wishes could have candles, and it could be at dusk. Dusk would be one of the easier times for me to watch. People could talk if they wanted, each releasing their own boat, or they could do it silently. I hope the boats would sail off in different directions. Some of them would sink or burn out, but others would keep going, and everyone would have their chance to send theirs out. I would like one boat, or some sort of offering to go to the ocean, to thank it for taking my body and the other people's prayers.