ASSIGNMENTS:
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Gemma Hamilton
Edinburgh, SCOTLAND
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REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
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At my brother's apartment in Austin, Tx.
The guest toilet becomes blocked and water pours over the rim. My brother is in another room.
Siste
Brother comes running: What?
Sister: It won't stop. It's blocked.
Brother: Well turn it off.
Sister: How? I don't know how.
(Water is rapidly covering the bathroom floor).
Brother: Just turn it off.
Sister: How?! Tell me!
Brother: (agitated) Christ, you really are a retard. What on earth did you do to it? Ew, my feet are getting wet!
Sister: (shouting) Well then turn it off!
Brother: Cretin.
(Reaches the valve and finally stops the flow.)
Look at this place! How much paper did you use?
Sister: What? I didn't do it deliberately.
Brother: You just turn the valve to stop the flow.
Sister: Well I didn't know. My toilet at home doesn't have one.
Brother: They all have one. God, this is disgusting.
Sister: Mine's concealed, how was I supposed to know?
Brother: It's not bloody hard. Only you could do this.
Sister: Don't yell at me. These American toilets are weird, they block easily.
(Surveying the inch of water on the floor.) We need to clean this up. Do you have a mop and plunger?
Brother: No
Sister: Why?
Brother: 'Cause I don't go around blocking toilets. Christ. I don't even know a place that would sell one at this time.
Sister: HEB.
Brother: We've just come from there. Argh.
Sister: Look, we'll just drive back and pick up a mop, plunger and some bleach.
Brother: Right, that won't look dodgy in the slightest.
Sister: God, I'll fix it. OK?
(Brother leaves room).
Dick.
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