Learning To Love You More




Assignment #14
Write your life story in less than a day.

Ros Weeks
Vancouver, British Columbia CANADA



I'm an only child. My mom had a difficult pregnancy, and couldn't have another child. My grandma also had a difficult pregnancy. I don't know why but it annoys me. One of my goals in life is to have an easy pregnancy if I have children. When I was around two my mom and dad separated. I don't remember it at all. I still see my dad all the time though. My grandma also separated from her husband and so did her mother. This annoys me a bit too. Another of my life goals is to never get divorced.
None of my family is religious except for my grandparents on my dads side who I never see. My moms side is Jewish, but secular, so they don't believe in god or anything. My dads side is christian, but he is totally atheistic. My family is almost anti-religious. Church music will come on the radio, and my grandma will say, "You know dear, some church music is actually nice." I feel guilty even saying the name Jesus, or enjoying Christian humor. It's okay if it's Jewish. I've always wished I'd had some sort of religious upbringing. Unless I receive a vision or something, it's very unlikely I'll ever believe. I was baptised by a 'catholic' friend though.
I had no real friends until I was about 3. I was an only child, and there were no children on my street, so I didn't meet people. When I was 3, I started going to preschool. I have vivid memories of crying and begging with my mom to let me stay home from preschool every day. Of course, by the end of the day I always wanted to stay. I seemed to be a quiet and shy child, but I was quite bossy. At one point I was playing house with a group of kids, and one girl (the biggest, oldest, loudest) wasn't playing the way I wanted, so I hit her over the head with a telephone. They had to give me a time out and talk to my parents. I didn't really see what I had done wrong.
Even with preschool, I didn't have a lot of friends. Because of this, I had no real grasp of popular culture. By the time I was in grade 4, I was a self proclaimed pop music hater, and a major nerd. My house was right across from school, so I'd go home for lunch every day. When I came back, I'd sit outside the classroom reading until the bell rang. I don't blame anyone for teasing me. I would have teased me.
Around that time I got into wicca. Wicca is this modern 'witchcraft' thing. I guess I was at a vulnerable point in my life and needed something. Of course, try as I might, I still couldn't force myself to believe in something with my kind of upbringing.
In grade five I got into a class for 'gifted' kids. At first it was great. I turned into a great (I think, but I have a really big ego) person. The class made me much more outgoing. After a while it got really annoying though, to be stuck with the 'smart kids' (nerds). I did meet my very best friend ever while I was there though. Not only did my personality change, but my taste in music changed very drastically. I went from only liking golden oldies, to liking everything. I got much more tolerant too. Now I know that for some people, insulting is just what they do, and they don't mean one word of it. It's great to be able to really laugh at yourself.
My grandma still gets on my nerves. She makes a big deal out of the fact that she and my dad are nice to each other, and that there's no fighting going on. She also says the same thing over and over. I had 2 uncles that didn't talk to each other for 20 years, and then started talking again, and she told me every time we saw each other for 3 months.
In fact, lots of people annoy me. My mom when she doesn't get the computer, my stepdad when he explains something to me that I already get, this girl at school who follows me around, and many more. I can handle it. I guess I'm a bit self centered, but if someone's annoying me, I get rid of them (through non violent means of course).
My dad is my favorite person in my family to talk to. He doesn't really like talking about emotions, just like me. He's very involved politically, and I like talking with him about politics because he knows what I know about, because he's told me all of it. My grandma still thinks that she needs to explain to me what a terrorist is.
I think that the only thing we should do in life is have fun, and survive. I care about school too, but if i get a bad grade, I don't sweat it, because I can always just read a book or something. I guess I've taken the not really caring fad to heart. I can always force my brain to care by reasoning with it, but why bother?? It's better to be failing math and feel fine, than to be failing math and having an anxiety attack. I'm pretty impartial. To trivial things that is. I can care about the major stuff. Like WHY THE HELL GMOS ARE GETTING THROUGH THE HEALTH BOARD?!?
Actually, I suppose you could call me an optomistic existentialist. I believe that we are alone in this world, that we have no purpose, and that we're going to nuke ourselves in to extinction- and I'm happy about it.