Learning To Love You More




Assignment #14
Write your life story in less than a day.

Oakland, California USA



I was born in the basement of the Sisters of Nazareth, "Old Nazareth Hospital" 1955, june 23 in mineral Well texas . My father was young soldier in the U.S. army and the father of 3 other Boys. My mother and my father where 21 years of age the year I was born. We stayed there for at least 2 Years..i seem to remember horny toads, being peirced in the heart by my Brother's homemade spear and Have Gun Will Travel. Then we moved to Lousiana, I'm not sure if it was Baton Rouge or New Orleans..which..evades my memory; We shorty thereafter move to Pureto Rico and stayed there for at least 3 years..funny thing how a curise ship will stay.with you, esp. flying fish and sea sickness.
My life remained blissfully ignorant until some time in 1962 and voilence greater than the Korean or Vietnam conflicts struck me into sin. Plan truth, my older brother attacked me in a rage to force me to coform to his will and demands; essentially to wash up dinner dishes and clean up our house--his responsibilities imposed on his younger brother. We lived in Mannheim Germany at this time and America's race conflict aka Civil Rights Movement was in last swing--just before MLK was shot or J.K. or his brother..but not too much before. Young black guys like my oldest brother living in mannheim as military dependents where angry and frustrated without direction--they fought with belt buckels and chased white women as so much physical prey sooner than lovers. My father and mother had developed a relationship with a younger white german native and spent a lot of time traveling and partying with her.
Short of the violence, my life was filled with overwhelming experiences, at least to me. I started school for the first time and of course got lost coming home. I think I was so frighten, that the school eventually sent me home in a cab. Eating fresh cherries until I was so sick and full I couldn't get out of the tree I had climbed in to gather them. Going to the NCO club and seeing such great acts, like Ike and Tina Turner, Sam Cooke, Sam and Dave, Wilson Picket, and others I think even James Brown.; Experiencing snow for the first time. Learning a second language (german) and one my parents didn't understand, nor my brothers.
We left germany and came back to the U.S. for just a very short while..I don't remember where we landed? Somewhere on the eastern sea board but we hardly stayed before we return to germany..This time to Reihnmann., Baumholder. Again, my little life was fairly routine..going to secondary school and hanging out with my friends..most of whom where like me..nerdy and non atheletic..we read comics and watched T.V.; of course my friends where a fat white boy, american indian full blooded apache, and a skinny french kid.
Suddenly it's 1968 or so..and I'm in junior high school, some where in Indianna..Connersville, in fact; I'm a bit radical now..esp., for a 11 year old kid. I had sex with a 48 year old woman..whoms children I babysat. I gotten arrested in a neighboring town for disorderly conduct. I even spent the night in jail, all before I was 12 year old. I came in third in a talent show..creating a solo dance to a Issac Hayes song..Hyperbolicsliquisticmystic..or something like that., I wore only some early idea of daisy dukes and body paint..which for the time was aggressive and definitly for a boy. I wore blue jeans with the american flag in the crotch. I was hanging out with older kids..but my best friend was my age. We smoked weed and drank and sat up all night in coffee dinners..smoking cigarettes talking and talking cause we also took loads of crystal meth..and acid. I was always high..and hanging out late. My dad was in Vietnam, and my Mother was having a breakdown from being a military wife. My older brothers had almost bailed on the family as a whole..
By 1970 we meaning my moms and dad and my little brother and sister and myself, up'd and moved to Anchorage Alaska. I left my parents shortly after we had arrived..I was trying to be the good son, but I was sleeping with the neighbors daughter..though I proably wanted to sleep with his son..whom was my friend. I was getting arrested by the military police for minor things. I didn't want to upset my dad's military career..and didn't respect his choice of occupation..so I left...emancipated myself from my parents so I could pick up some guardians in order to go to the school of my choice...Forced out of high school on a GED cause I was way too involved in ad-hoc political student organizations..and outspoken about student rights..mind u, I'm talking about high school.. Later I developed and formed the original peer councilor progams for the anchorage school district, only to eventually get ran out of the organization by the same white students I formed to develop the council.
I worked for the Anchorage Open Door Clinic when it first formed in Anchorage. I even had a Job with the Teamster's Union right out of my GED graduation..thanks to the connection I had made with my Government teacher, actually I hated his misinformation and constantly interuppted his class with contrary information or opinion. In fact, I left the Teamster's for the Open Door Clinic, I met the blood Kevin..at some ad-hoc student government meeting with school district ; I had been doing a pointilism sketch, and he admired it; to later ask me if I would do a piece for his clinic, a poster. I agreed and later he convinced me to come to work for his clinic as a street outreach worker..plus he matched my Teamster salary which was pretty damn good for an 18 year old just out of high school.
Anchorage life was open for me in the late 1973s, I lived in a trailer court by myself., I had a fantastic record collection and my speakers came from an old theather..so they boomed..and I boomed all the time.; I first met dreadlocs in alaska..they had opened a record/gift shop..and though I wasn't dread I found them quite an attraction. I met and lost the one of the few women to actually affect me emotionaly and sexually cause up to her, I played with women--meaning I got laid but I never loved. She was Mexican, said her father was a political person. She had been hitchhiking and I saw her in passing; later she show up at the 'clinic' for directions and information; well, still thinking I'm a wolf (early slang for Playa) I offered her my trailer while I was at work (I worked nights) she accepted; and that morning I fell in love with her..but she just like me..and moved on.
I had my first homosexual experiences in anchorage both of which where uneventful. My first male love was a cat named Charlie..like his name, he was burly and thick boned; we hit it off our last dysfunctional year in high school; he rode a tiny littlle motorcycle. We ate hell'a red's..which where a perscription barbituate. One rainy day, charlie took me took work with him (he worked at the dairy queen) after waiting out his shift..we went to his parents house and had terrible sex. Later, I had a good friend in a young woman who intorduced me to some out of state gay friends of hers..These two guys came to my trailer and laid on my floor and pulled their pants down and said lets have sex; I said get the fuck out of here and tell kathy I'm gonna kill her. She also thought I wanted to fuck her but really I just liked her for her; she was an uptight white girl who's father was a lt. In the security admin. On base. But like me she was rather radical in her lifestyle choice i.e., we wore crazy clothes and liked punk music..she and I loved David Bowie..and she had a last name u could never forget..Engledinger.
When I left anchorage, I hitched hiked out by way of the Great Highway..which is just a very long streatch of gravel road and wilderness. At first I had an eskimo friend with me..Crazy John, but we fell out shortly after we left anchorage..and he returned to anchorage. I don't know what he was thinking but he sure wanted me to be his bitch.. I guess he wanted to fuck me and felt since he came along with me and kinda was more oriented to the wilderness I should have been grateful. So one nite we make camp and he is like ordering me around for his needs..like his food and drink..by the time we got to the smokes, I told him to get it for himself; and he blew up..violently..which scared me more than the highway..so I slept outside my own tent and in the morning told him I wanted to go along. He seemed to understand and just left.I lost all my belongs..meaning my clothes through a careless oversight in Washinton State. I had left my pack tied to the front of a couples VW van while we ran to the ocean to wade in the surf..but I just kept on going with no more than a change of clothes a cooking pot and a sleeping bag.
I stoped in Oregon..and found my homosexual roots..i.e., I got a job at the YMCA soup kitchen, cause the guy cooking really like me..in a sexual kinda way..though he never touched me..I guess he thought I was too young for him..but he wanted me to know..or choose. One day he took me to his house..just outside of downtown Portland. There I knew for sure he was queer, cause it was a shirne of him and his late lover whom had died of AIDS..then I didn't know what AIDS was..and he didn't really tell me. That day was really quite between us and I didn't know how to make an advance on a guy. If I had, I proably would have with him cause I really did have a crush on him too. But we just sat around his place all quietly till after the sun set and I left him sleeping . I quit that job..too and moved to the next town Beaverton, not cause of him just cause..really; I started working for the YMCA's LatchKey Day Care.. later I met a salior who really freaked me..but got me thrown out of my shared house with these two white kids..a yogurt making white chick and a mousy white boy.
Just outside of San Francisco, some time in 1975, I met another woman who affected me greatly. She was my senior..by 20 years..and had two children still at home..but we loved each other. We dated first..since I worked at the same convolesent home as her; I even had other women friends, esp., on the sexual tip..though I still longed for a queer experience. I got robed by two punks posing as queer..when we tried to get our freak on in my studio apartment. Luckly for me I kinda knew they was up to no good and using sex as a introduction..so I kinda hid my shit before I even let em in my house.
Later Ms PS and I moved in together..so I let all guys making advances on me go..I loved PS but I too knew our ages would eventualy separate us..and it did..it was a terrible day the day I left PS. We both cried and cried..and her childern were so confused what was up. I had been with her for about a year..then I decided to go to my moms...or near by..I basicly ended up in Michigan, Ann Arbor..
I got boned by a white boy from Detroit who I met just outside my apartment in Ann Arbor; honesty it was a great fuck..though I had never done that before; later we went to these cats house that I knew and knew to be queer..and they all had a freak; I was way too hurt..cause I was a virgin..and only wanted him..so I moved on..heartbroken with my first good queer fuck.; Before him, I had been living with this Bisexual cat named Wayne..whom had hired me at the local Miller's ice cream polar, but wayne and I never fucked..or even talked about it..we just got really really really drunk every night. One night he dragged me home and I only had the scar on my hip to remember; I met Eddie while living with Wayne..and my heart went out to him; Eddie was a 16 year old orphange, who had epileptic seziures and was a crazy sexual kid..he looked great..i mean a really beautiful white kid...he had camped outside my door way one cold cold cold night..so I couldn't leave him there..
By the time Eddie and I ended up in Oakland California in 1978, I had no idea we would go through the shit we went through that ranged from him living in Santa Rosa with a freaky white trash women, me running to Julia's arms of deception; and her running off to San Degio with some blood whom's cock she drew in my face..calling it art of course; selling our asses for nickles..to living off the weird cats in and out of the Ranibow Cattle Company, now called the Zeist Bar in San Francisco.
Now of course, time files..but lets say..many queer experiences later, along with a few female lovers between them all; I ended up professionaly working for an major SF institute for 15 years; after some long and hard efforts at going to certification school..i.e. City College, I started working in my chosen field. I tried to live a good life..you know volunteering for hospice work and giving up time to literacy programs; oh on my job I gave of my free time and tutored students. I went through one real classic lover who later died of AIDS; along with his best friend who was a beautiful man if only a bit shallow..some ting u become for being a SF Landmark cause he was the Door man for Neium Marcus for years..i mean years. But my lover was really his lover and they remained that way to the end. Later I tried a few other cats but we burned bad including the one I've been getting over for the last 4 years of my life.
That is fast forward to 2004, I'm known for my cock paintings and crazy parties in Hayes Valley back in the late 80's earlier 90's; u know parties cost hella money and no one ever repects your time or effort..just your food and drugs and music and space to fuck..really, and now I'm living really ghetto like in Oakland, was living off Minna Street in Mission District, DJ'ing for a Cafˇ..called the Oh So Little Cafˇ..but that went bust..after a year of good times, art shows, jazz shows, live performaces and loads of coffee and talking..feel me..then i I move on to do a year at the Oxygen Bar..DJ'ing that is, in this case just Jazz and early jazz at that..but that came to an end when Lisa's mom passed and she folded tent and bailed..I'm back to doing my professional gig..mainly part time..and I'm so broke and hungry all the time..cause time is what I look for these day..time to paint more cocks..and such..go to http://www.geocities.com/ran_dj2002 for examples of my work..and well that my life to date..i think..