ASSIGNMENTS:
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Clyde
Santa Rosa, California USA
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REPORTS:
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I was born in Fairfield, CA in 1971. When I was about three years old, I got my first stitches, when I cracked open my head while jumping on a bed at my grandparents house in Washington. The stitches would become a recurring theme in my life. I spent my entire childhood in Fairfield. Most of my elementary school career was spent doing make-up homework assignments, since I was of the opinion that I shouldn't have to learn anything after 3 p.m., however my teachers were total reactionaries about that theory.
The summer before I started High School, My parents decided to take the family on an extended vacation across the midwest to lovely North Dakota. I am sure that I saw some interesting and historic sites, however all I remember from this trip, is fighting with my brother and sisters.
The following summer , I took a vacation from my family by getting blood poisoning. It was the best vaacation, I ever had. I spent two weeks in bed, in an air-conditioned room doing nothing.
My High School career consisted of me being a total dork. The clearest example of this being that I was in the Drama club. It was tough fending off all the girls that wanted to go out with me, but somehow I managed.
I went to college at Humboldt State, mainly because it was located 300 miles from Fairfield. The highlights from my freshman year, are, well, Weidemans was $3 a twelve pack.
My senior year I caught strep throat. I couldn't talk for two weeks, No one seemed to notice.
Also that year I moved off-campus with some friends into a rat infested hovel. It was a complete hole, but it was a hole with character. The one thing I learned from living there, is that you shouldn't rent a house from someone who lives in a van. The rodent situation was taken care of when the roof collapsed, thereby killing off the rats and getting us two months of free rent. Two birds with one stone.
I graduated from college in 1993, with some difficulty. I took a cello class as an elective, however I was completely inacapable of playing the cello. As a result, I failed the class and almost failed to graduate by one credit. I made it up in summer school by taking music appreciation.
After graduation, I moved to Santa Rosa. I got a job at a video store, where I had the opportunity to watch the greatest film of all time, AVENGING DISCO GODFATHER, the "Gone with the Wind" of Disco P.C.P. films.
After a year at the video store, I got a job at Target. I spent eight years wasting my life at this crappy job and what I learned from it is that RETAIL SUCKS.
While working at Target I got stuck with Jury Duty. I was put on a murder trial and it was the single most depressing experiance of my life. I spent two months learning every detail of how some poor guy was killed in a rather grizzly manner because he gave some kids a ride on a rainy night.
Two years ago, I quit my job at Target, and I got a job driving trucks. and that is about it. Actually there is a whole lot more that I could write about, however, I don't really want to demonstrate how much of a doofus I really am
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