Learning To Love You More




Assignment #53
Give advice to yourself in the past.

Newcastle, UK



Advice to Christianne aged 14
1. Don't sleep with Aidan - it might seem like a good idea, but trust me, you'll regret not waiting.
2. Don't think the world begins and ends with Johnny. It doesn't. You won't ever be with him and you have nothing in common anyway.
3. Spend more time with Tom.
Advice to Christianne aged 16
4. Know that Andrew isn't 'the one' but enjoy your time with him all the same.
5. When your half brother gets back in touch, do all you can to see him and his kids. Don't think that there'll always be another chance. There won't.
Advice to Christianne aged 17
6. Don't pussyfoot around with your feelings. Finish things with Andrew before you do too much damage to everyone involved. Fin will be bald in a few years, and he'll have a kid - you'll be glad you didn't make any more of it.
7. DON'T LEAVE SCHOOL! Seriously, listen to everyone when they tell you you're making a mistake. It will be the biggest regret of your life. Just know that you'll be so much happier if you stick at it and go to university, as pointless as it seems right now.
8. You'll be fine now your parents have split up. It's better for them. Spend more time with Dad though. You'll come to realise he's one of your best friends.
Advice to Christianne aged 18
9. Don't take what your mother says too seriously. She had her own problems with certain situations.
10. Help Dad as much as you can. No-one should have to lose a child. He's hurting more than you might realise and you being there comforts him. Try to get him to go for a full medical. Don't ask questions, just do it.
11. Don't beat yourself up too much that you didn't know your brother as well as you might have done. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. You had that one time where you both made your peace, at least you have that.
Advice to Christianne aged 19
12. Have a great holiday but don't let the holiday romance go any further. It's not what you want. You'll hurt him unnecessarily.
13. Let Tom stay the night. Just do what comes naturally. Don't push him away. It's something you'll always wonder about. You know you loved him when you were 14 and you should have told him. I could have told you that then, but there were other mistakes to make that made you who you are now. Just let him in.
Advice to Christianne aged 20
14. Be strong for Dad. Spend more time with him. Go to hospital with him, you'll hate yourself for not doing it. It's hard but it's something that you should do.
Advice to Christianne aged 21
15. Don't get a credit card. It will seriously damage your finances. You'll be paying it (and the rest that you'll get because of it) off for a long time.
16. Don't act like you've had your night ruined on New Year's eve. It will upset Dad.
17. When Dad starts to seem weird from the morphine, don't be scared. He's still Dad. Try and have more strength. Tell him you love every time you think he knows what's going on. Tell him you're sorry for all the things that ever upset him.
18. When you wake up in the mornings and realise for the millionth time that Dad is gone, don't open a bottle of wine. It won't do you any good. Write it all down instead.
19. Stop going to the cemetery every night. It's probably pretty dangerous and Dad isn't there. You're only making it harder on yourself.
20. Accept the friendship and words of advice from your friends. They'll be around for a long time to come and they're worried about you.
Advice to Christianne aged 22
21. Don't leave John for Dan. If you refuse this advice, get rid of Dan as soon as you find out he's cheated on you. He'll do it again and again and again.
Advice to Christianne aged 23
22. Don't you wish you'd listened to the advice about Dan?
23. Don't take the job at the power plant. You know Dad hated that place and you don't like it much yourself. Look for something else.
24. Smile more. You have a nice smile.