Learning To Love You More




Assignment #37
Write down a recent argument.

Adrienne Manlove
Keller, Texas USA



Him: I'm just no good at this. I don't think I'm capable of getting serious.
Me: What does serious mean? Any kind of commitment? Responsibility?
Him: getting attached. Seriously emotionally involved.
Me: Why? Why do you have to do that? I didn't do anything to you.
Him: I know.
Me: I feel like such a fucking idiot.
Him: don't, please.
Me: Were you ever going to say anything? ...Or were you just gonna go on, like, cleverly hinting that this is pointless and a waste of my time.
Him: No, I've been thinking about it.
Me: ...And letting me figure it out on my own? I just don't get this. I'm terrified of commitment and I didn't even ask YOU to commit to anything, just maybe be honest with me and share moments and have good conversations. I think you can be open with me, I mean it's not like I have ulterior motives. And I've never judged you.
Him: That's not it. It's not you.
Me: "It's not you, it's me"??!? Oh, my fucking god.
Him: Fuck you. Jesus.
Me: Do you mean that?
Him: Yes! I'm trying to be fucking up front with you!
Me: OK, sorry.
Him: Because I know why I'm the way I am, or at least I think I do, and I thought by recognizing it, I'd be able to get over it.
Me: Okay...
Him: And I don't know why I'm so fucking heartless, ok? But I am sorry.
Me: You're not heartless. I'd never say that about you.