Learning To Love You More




Assignment #31
Spend time with a dying person.

St. Paul, Minnesota USA



About 3 weeks ago I went to see my grampa who was dying. I walked into his bedroom. I went to give him a hug. He looked so surprised that I was there. He mouthed "Sarah!" His eyes started to tear up. So did mine. I hugged him. I am glad that he recognized me. He lost a lot of his memory. He couldn't speak. When he tried he just made a gargling/coughing kind of attempt at words. He had hand movements for yes and no. I looked over on the dresser and someone had made note cards for him. They said things like "No Way," "You Bet," and "Water." He had a note pad next to him that he would write on when he wanted to say something or when he wanted something. He no longer could spell and sometimes his writing was hard to decipher. He wanted to get out of bed. It took forever with 2 people helping him. He went to sit in a chair but had to go back to bed within 5 minutes. I went and sat next to him right before he took his nap. I held his hand. He was so skinny. I wanted to take all the pain and sadness away but I felt so helpless. I almost started to cry. I didn't want him to see me cry. I told him that I love him. I wanted his last moments with me to be happy, not sad. I had to leave the room.
About a week and a half ago he died. It was March 11th I think. I went though many sleepless nights and many nights crying myself to sleep. He was close to me. The funeral was nice. I was glad to have everyone in my family together. There were a lot of people there. Everyone he had ever met fell in love with him right away. He was a great guy and I miss him very much.