Learning To Love You More




Assignment #70
Say goodbye.

New York, New York USA



Goodbye looking in the mirror and believing that my face is subtly asymmetrical and therefore unlovable.
Goodbye yelling at my mom when she calls me and I happen to be having a bad day.
Goodbye not thinking I'm good enough to write, sing, or make a movie.
Goodbye feeling like I don't deserve to talk in class.
Goodbye spending time with people who make me feel like I'm dead.
Goodbye getting nervous about and obsessing over everyday interactions (like paying for a cup of coffee or standing next to someone in the elevator).
Goodbye walking past a restaurant or coffee shop and thinking that I'm not cool enough to go inside.
Goodbye believing that I'm never going to love anyone again (or that nobody is going to love me).
Goodbye who I thought was my soul mate but didn't write me back.
Goodbye my first one-night-stand who didn't write me back.
Goodbye thinking I'm a failure for not frequently having sexual intercourse with many good-looking men who adore me.
Goodbye resenting my dad for not working while I was in high school.
Goodbye resenting my mom because the house was always messy when my friends came over.
Goodbye not feeling brave enough to talk to someone sitting next to me who looks nice.
Goodbye thinking that I am a less cool version of myself (or that there is an ideal me who is cool but I just can't seem to become her).
Goodbye acting like I don't like my last name when I really do.
Goodbye playing it cool.
Goodbye feeling like I should always be doing something other than what I'm doing right now.
Goodbye believing that because it's April and I was dating someone last April there is something wrong with me because I'm not with someone now.
Goodbye believing that the way you (and you) treated me was okay.
Goodbye Sam.
Goodbye Rosa.
Goodbye getting scared because I think I see you.
Goodbye (almost) everyone I met in Spain.
Goodbye fantasizing about telling you in a sneaky or creepy way that I still love you (because I don't).
Goodbye Robert.