Learning To Love You More




Assignment #52
Write the phone call you wish you could have.

Waterloo, Ontario CANADA



Me: ...hello?
Josh: Hi, it's Josh.
Me: I know.
Josh: Oh...so I guess this is kind of weird.
Me: Hm?
Josh: Well I've been avoiding you.
Me: I hadn't noticed.
Josh: Oh... really?
Me: I don't know. Why are you calling?
Josh: I've been an idiot.
Me: I hadn't noticed.
Josh: Can you stop saying that? This is hard for me.
Me: Ok.
Josh: Well I've been avoiding you and I'm sorry.
Me: Ok.
Josh: I miss you.
Me: I see.
Josh: Why are you being so rude right now?
Me: What do you expect me to say? My supposed "best friend" doesn't talk to me for over two months and I'm supposed to be here with arms out held embracing? You broke my heart and took off to China for Christ's sake.
Josh: I didn't just take off. I planned things with you, you knew I was going.
Me: That's not that point.
Josh: I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just not go. I couldn't just call you. You know me, I'm stubborn. I still don't know what I'm doing, where I'm going.
Me: You changed everything, you're not even living here come the fall.
Josh: I know.
Me: Why are you calling me?
Josh: I made a mistake. I made the one person who makes everything okay for me cry. I made you upset. I hurt you. I lied and told you to your face that I didn't love you.
Me: Why are you telling me all of this now? It's been a long time. Did you figure I'd just be waiting around?
Josh: I know you. If you're still the girl I fell in love with, you're still hurting.
Me: Well maybe I'm not that girl anymore.
Josh: If you're still more enthusiastic about movies than drinking, you're still my girl.
Josh: You can't drink love away. I can fill up my time with beers and negative friends, and pretend like everything is fine, but you know me.
Me: You're acting like this is no big deal.
Josh: I fucked up. I messed up. You know how hard it is for me to even admit to that.
Me: No, actually I don't. I don't even know who you are anymore. Apparently I made you unhappy, so I don't even know why you're pursuing this.
Josh: Because this matters, you matter.
Me: I loved you. I deserve better than you.
Josh: You deserve better than me, but I don't deserve better than you.
Me: So I should settle?
Josh: You should give love another chance.
Me: Pretty sure I already have you one before.
Josh: What have you got to lose?
Me: I don't want to go through this again.
Josh: I want us to get married, soon. I want you to be my young bride.
Me: You read my journal.
Josh: I want us to be a young family, and have all the children you want. I want us to be happy.
Me: I don't think you can give me what I want.
Josh: You were the one who didn't get me Planet Earth when it was the only thing on my Christmas list.
Me: I couldn't find it anywhere, you ass.
Josh: I'll be over in 15.
Me: What?
Josh: I have something for you.
Me: I don't want to see you.
Josh: I don't believe that.
Me: Well believe it when you get here and I don't let you in.
Josh: Your mom will let me in, she still likes me.
Me: I seriously doubt that.
Josh: We'll see. See you soon.