ASSIGNMENTS:
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Lindsay Lawson
Los Angeles, California USA
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REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
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Me: Hello?
Virgin Galactic: Hello fellow Earthling! Is this Ms. Lindsay Lawson?
Me: Speaking.
Virgin Galactic: Well, Ms. Lawson, I am a representative from Virgin Galactic and I have some wonderful news for you!
Me: (thinking "could it really be?!") Yes?
Virgin Galactic: Ms. Lawson, do you remember entering our contest online for a chance to win a trip to space on Virgin Galactic?
Me: Yes. I entered a bunch of codes from 7-up bottle caps, but none of them were winning numbers.
Virgin Galactic: Well, there's been a bit of a mistake. You see Ms. Lawson, the very afternoon that you entered some of your 7-up codes one of our "computer geniuses" accidentally spilled some 7-up on the Super Computer that was calculating the in-coming codes. It started malfunctioning. First it was blinking, then smoking, and it even started printing out insulting jokes about my mother.
Me: Wow! What kind of computer has a sense of humor?
Virgin Galactic: So the next day we began computing the contest codes in our normal (i.e. much slower) computer, which is why I am contacting you this late with this wonderful news.
Me: Well, what is it?!
Virgin Galactic: Ms. Lawson, after the last 6 weeks of computing we have discovered that you are the Virgin Galactic 7-up Grand Prize Winner!!!
Me: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Virgin Galactic: Ms. Lawson, are you ok?
Me: Yeah!
Virgin Galactic: And there's more wonderful news!
Me: Lay it on me!
Virgin Galactic: Because of our delay, we at Virgin Galactic have slightly altered the Ultimate Grand Prize. Instead of just orbiting the moon once and returning home, you will be actually landing on the moon! Plus you can bring 5 friends and have a lunar sleepover party sponsored by 7-up!
Me: I can't believe it! A lunar sleepover!!! I bet it only takes 5 seconds after the first person fall asleep to freeze to freeze their underwear on the moon!
Virgin Galactic: Actually, Ms. Lawson, it takes approximately 20 seconds. They tried it on Apollo 11... and CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Me: Thanks!!!
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