Learning To Love You More
HELLO ASSIGNMENTS DISPLAYS LOVE GRANTS REPORTS SELECTIONS OLIVERS BOOK

 ASSIGNMENTS:

 

 

Assignment #52
Write the phone call you wish you could have.

Gorana Jovanovic
Belgrade, SERBIA

REPORTS:

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[zvrrrr-zvrrrr]
  
Me: Halo?
  
Thom Yorke: Hello?
  
Me: Ko je to?
  
Thom Yorke: Sorry, do you speak English?
  
Me: I do... Who is that?
  
Thom Yorke: It's Thom Yorke.
  
Me: I didn't hear you... Thom who?
  
Thom Yorke: Thom Yorke.
  
Me: Thom Yorke you say...? Thom Yorke of Radiohead?
  
Thom Yorke: Yes, that's right.
  
Me: Ok, "Thom Yorke", why don't you go fuck yourself and stop wasting my time!
  
Thom Yorke: Exuse me?
  
Me: You heard me!
  
Thom Yorke: Maybe I got the wrong number, I was told someone on this number wanted to talk to me... Sorry, my mistake, I'll try again.
  
Me: Wait, what number did you dial?
  
Thom Yorke: **********
  
Me: Well, that is my number, but I want you to cut the bullshit and tell me who you really are and what you want?
  
Thom Yorke: Like I said. I'm Thom Yorke, and I was told you wanted to talk to me.
  
Me: Is it April the 1st, already?? Who told you that?
  
Thom Yorke: A mutual friend.
  
Me: I don't think I know any of Thom Yorke's friends... None of my friends are famous...
  
Thom Yorke: Mine, neither.
  
Me: Yeah, sure.....
  
Thom Yorke: So what did you want to talk to me about?
  
Me: If you are really Thom Yorke, prove it.
  
Thom Yorke: How?
  
Me: I dunno... Thom Yorke is a genious, if you were him, you'd find the way.
  
Thom Yorke: Well... we can meet, then you'll believe me.
  
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA, you think I would meet with someone who just calls me up and pretends to be Thom Yorke?? You could be a psycho, or god knows what!
  
Thom Yorke: Well, I can't think of a better way to make you believe I'm really who I claim to be.
  
Me: You could sing something...
  
Thom Yorke: Ok, if that's enough proof for you. What would you like me to sing?
  
Me: "Exit music"!
  
Thom Yorke: [sings it all]
  
Me: No shit! You really ARE Thom Yorke!
  
Thom Yorke: Thank you!
  
Me: Wait, you really want to meet with me?!
  
Thom Yorke: I said I do.
  
Me: When?
  
Thom Yorke: What about.... in 15 minutes? Or is that too soon for you?
  
Me: 15 minutes?? Wait, wait, wait? Where are you now exactly?
  
Thom Yorke: I'm in your neighbourhood.... I'm not sure how to pronounce the name of the street I'm in...
  
Me: Kneza Viseslava??
  
Thom Yorke: No...
  
Me: Blagoja Parovica??
  
Thom Yorke: No, not that either...
  
Me: Pozeska???
  
Thom Yorke: That's the one!
  
Me: I'll be there in 5!