Learning To Love You More

ASSIGNMENTS:

REPORTS:


I admire people who are organ donors. When I check a persons i.d. I check first to see if they are an organ donor. Oftentimes when I am waiting on someone and I remember to check their i.d. I say, "oh good! You're an organ donor". I am happy then because I know that there are lots and lots of organ donors out there (just in case). I am not an organ donor. This is because I want to be a Diamond. Specifically I want to be a big Diamond. I want to be a big sexy Diamond. In order to be a big Diamond I must have as much dead body weight as possible (obviously). It's for this reason that I never checked the organ donor box. I want to be a big sexy Diamond set in the heart of a big gold claddagh ring. Also the ring should be inscribed with "break on through to the other side". Once my body has been made into a Diamond please don't give me to any important loved ones. First take me to a chapel out in the middle of nowhere and place me on the finger of a crucified jesus (be sure that mary is watching). Next string me on a chain take me to the state fair and ask the hypnotist to use me as his pendulum for the afternoon show. After that go to the beach to try me out for size on the toes of sunbathing strangers and ask them if it feels good. Finally take me to a local pawn shop and trade me for something. It doesn't matter what preferably something interesting. From this point on I can only hope...