Learning To Love You More
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Assignment #51
Describe what to do with your body when you die.

Lindsay
Washington, D.C. USA

REPORTS:

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I loved the book "Stiff" by Mary Roach. Please donate my body to science, and if you need ideas, maybe you could call Ms. Roach up. I do want to make it clear - if my organs are salvageable, I want them given to people who need them. I didn't stand in line at the DMV to put that little "organ donor" heart symbol on my license for nothing, kittens. I'd especially like to get blown up in a land mine testing facility, people trying to explore how to fix people injured seriously by such a horrible thing. Or maybe adopted by a nice group of medical students who could learn a little something from me, cut me up in labs together. Maybe two med students could fall in love over my dissection. If possible, make sure my body is doing something that will benefit humankind. If that's really not possible, then make sure my body's doing something extreme, righteous, and badass. My body was a vessel, and I want it to be useful one last time, useful until the very end. That would make me happy. In life, I was a computer drone, a slacker, I sat on my potential. I was a nice girl with no particular talents in science. I wrote notes to Brian White all through high school chemistry, and I skipped Geology 101 lab every single class but test days in college. I was an art major. So please, help a sister out. In death, I want to be a scientist.
- I request a nice memorial service or two. One, a traditional service in the Lutheran church where I grew up, had my confirmation, was married. This would give some peace to my mother and father. If Paul is still around, I'd like him to give a nice little sermon-type thing, and please make it personal. Whatever my mother would like to include in this service- music, flowers, etc., is her choice... I trust her implicitly and I want, in the case of my early passing, something that would make her the happiest she could be.
- I'd also like a giant throwdown, one that will be talked about for years. It doesn't have to be the night of my memorial service or anything that inappropriate, maybe wait a few weeks so you are all in throwdown mode, don't force it. I'd hope that several of my friends would know what to do stories, and lots of laughing and flamboyant costumes. Lots and lots of costumes. Be creative. Also, a keg of Harp. Do they even make kegs of Harp? Kris and Shan, this is your responsibility. Get on it.
- Make sure that my passing is noted somewhere on the Internet. I don't need large obits in every paper around the country or anything that dramatic, but I have old pals who would be hurt to not be notified should I be decapitated in a bus accident or something. They'd want to know, I think, and they're computer savvy. Make sure you used a pretty picture of me, not anything where I have double-chins or look like a pirate. I want ex-boyfriends nationwide to remember me as a nothing less than a dreamboat.
- Also, someone please remember to give my dog a kiss for me.
- Also also, I want my husband to remarry if he wants to, and have the most terrific life he possibly can, in total peace. Somewhere, I am waiting for him, waiting to say hi.