ASSIGNMENTS:
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Jordan Lane
Calgary, Alberta CANADA
Email Jordan
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REPORTS:
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When I die, I want each of my friends and family to write their name on a small piece of paper. No typewriters or computers, just hand-written on regular old looseleaf. Then I want them to place the pieces of paper in the breast pocket of my favourite suit, which I will be wearing at the viewing of my body. Then I want the pocket sewn shut, so that the memory of those close to me would never be too far from my heart.
After the viewing, I want to be cremated. The ashes will be collected in an urn (a cheap one is fine), and anyone from the funeral who wishes to come will go to the badlands near Drumheller, Alberta to set my body free.
The funeral party will gather in Horseshoe Canyon, find the biggest hoodoo they can climb, and place the urn containing my ashes in the centre. Everyone will gather in a circle around the urn, yell Goodbye, Jordan! as loudly as they can, and drink and party and be happy until the sun sets. This will function as my wake, and also my last party among friends.
When the sun has descended and the canyon is dark, I want the person with the best throwing arm to pick up my urn and throw it out in a random direction as hard as they can. Then everyone will say their goodbyes to each other and leave the canyon to return home to continue with their lives.
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