ASSIGNMENTS:
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Melanie Harris
Toronto, Ontario CANADA
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REPORTS:
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When I die, I would like for no one to be sad. I hate when people die, and I hate how long it takes for the sadness to go away. So, my wish is that everyone gathers together and stays happy. My body can be put in a box and cremated right away so I don't get all nasty. Then everyone can gather around my ashes and my parents will cook some foods for all my loved ones.
Everyone will drink French red wine from 2003, and eat a selection of cheeses chosen by my mother and father, together. There will be olives, and pastis, and absinthe, and some proscuitto on breadsticks. There will be no main course because my parents will be sad, and I don't want to burden them with having to cook all this shit for me if I'm not going to be there to eat it. I don't want my dead body around the food. Make sure my cat is there also, so that everyone can give him all the love he needs, and make sure my friend Laura takes Randy home with her, because I want him in good hands, and I know Randy likes gingers, so Monster can be a friend for him. Grumble too. Desert will be carrot cake, with the plastic people that my mom use to hide in the Easter loaf when we were kids. Whoever ends up with the plastic person (I think it was a king) will win a prize, I would say that the prize is all my stuff.... that person can go through my shit and take everything they want (Excepting Randy).
After the food, everyone can go to the room where my ashes are, and do their thing. Say whatever you feel like about me...the good and the bad; cause there will be lots of both.
After all this, my sister Alexia will have to bring my ashes to Switzerland. I want her to take me as carry-on luggage; I'm NOT going with the cargo. She can spread my ashes above Vevey, in Mt. Pelerin, or Signal de Bougy. Her choice. Tell everyone I am sorry for dying but don't be sad because it was my time to go.
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