ASSIGNMENTS:
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Lionel Bawden
Sydney, AUSTRALIA
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REPORTS:
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We don't really have open casket funerals in Australia very much, so as soon as you are dead you are kinda boxed up, deleted, gone.
I just got back from New york and a friend attended the funeral of his very wonderful trannie friend, who passed away out of the blue, while i was there. Her ceremony was crazy beautiful and people were throwing bottles of liquor and pills into her coffin, so she could see out the afterlife with a bit of a buzz, or atleast take the edge off eternity.
For my funeral- I kinda like the idea of this but in reverse.
Firstly liz Phair's song 'Glory' should be playing on repeat- most of my friends know this is the soundtrack for my funeral already (and for my life too)
I basically gain my strength from my family and friends so as i go out, they will all hear the words resounding "you are, you are, you are Shining some glory on me!" -making me stronger, making me happy even when I'm dead.
I want an open casket -me with a funny gleeful expression on my face- probably looking smug,as if the ride has been fun.
My coffin should be full of party favours- all my favourite stuff from life, the beautiful trinkets one accumulates- little sculptures i've made, gifts from friends, little object-poetry i have found on the street, badges(buttons), seed pods, little plastic toys, pez dispensers of bert and ernie, coral, hand knitted toys, waterbombs, photos, my fave books and any money ive got hanging around... All my friends and family can just take what they want- no fighting children, keep it nice- you will know what are the right bits to take.
Everyone should sign their names on my body, my arms i guess is the most decent part, but wherever you want- John and certain other special folk can sign my rude bits if they like, but they probably are not as twisted as that, my arms and my chest will do. But Bronwyn must write on my forehead, again, like she did in London ten years back when i fell asleep on her lap-"Im Mary Afraid". That way i will be my own guest book, and wherever i end up people will know all the splendid individuals ive been able to share the adventure with. And Josephine should blow some rasberries on my belly for good measure.
Then everyone should go out dancing and have a dance in my honour- thinking of me dancing, as my boyfriend charmingly (or not) describes as "like I am having an epileptic fit". Too much enthusiasm, not enough co-ordination.
My license says im an organ donor, so hopefully some of them will still be of use to someone.
I never really think about treating my body better for the benefit of other people using my organs in the future, i better clean up my act.
Then i should be cremated and sprinkled in people's potted plants- whoever wants a lil piece of me.
That way i can stay around my friends and enjoy the beauty of the world. Hopefully spiders will eat my ashes, but i don' t know if they are into that.
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