ASSIGNMENTS:
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"How to heal after a break up that runs the risk of breaking your heart (or already has)."
Linzey Infynity
Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Email Linzey
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REPORTS:
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This guideline is framed on a relationship of 3 years or so, and after living together, but it can be applied as necessary to other situations.
Remember: When you break up it is as if someone, actually, the person closest to you has died. You no longer and will no longer know them like you once did. You will feel like you will never go on, especially if you had a spiritual connection with this person.
This is normal.
It will hurt. If you've never had anyone close to you die, this is what it feels like. What follows is grief.
The night it happens you will feel an unbelievable shot of pain and you may feel naseous. You may feel like you're dying. The best thing to do is find a close/best friend immediately. If your best friend is your girlfriend (or boy),--you may feel the need to be with them bc you feel they are the only one who understands. If the break-up is mutual, this is okay. But you need to be around people that comfort you. It is not uncommon to seek help from the person who caused you the pain. They cannot be the one to get you through this.
There are may ways to let go. If you have a hard time letting go, make steps and stick to them. If you slept in the same bed, sleep in separate beds. Give yourself a week and no longer to do this! Then separate rooms, people's housesÉ If at all possible move out within one month. Only then can you start to grow apart from this person.
Coping Strategies:
*Be around people any time you can-it will be easier to eat, speak, and be okay again
*Go out. Even if it's a coffee shop for four hours. Go out, out out.
*When you feel the anticipation of the future, and say "what will I do without her" stop thinking about it. Look to the now. You aren't in any danger. You may be in pain, but that is part of growing. This is what will make you strong. Accept the pain. Embrace yourself even in the darkness and find your peace.
*Go back to comforts. Music. Friends. Anything that is YOU and has nothing to do with the other person.
Remember-you CAN do this. You've been through pain before and you are NOT alone. Many, many many people have lived through circumstances like this. Most of them have thought they couldn't.
And know, this happened for a reason.
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