Chicago, Illinois USA
Mom: What time did Lisa say to be here?
Mom: What time is it?
John: Quarter to 12
Mom: Jesus Christ we're going to be late!
John: We have plenty of time.
Mom: That's not the point! Why did she tell us 11 if she wasn't going to be here!??
Me: Maybe she's inside she just can't here us knocking.
Tony: Then why isn't she picking up her phone?
Me: Maybe she's in the shower?
Mom: (screaming up at the window) LLLIIISSSSAAAA!!!
John: I don't think she's home.
Me: She probably got hung up at work. The game doesn't start till 1:20 so we are fine as long as she gets here soon.
Mom: Yeah but then she'll have to change her clothes and all that and that'll take another half hour...(sighing loudly and muttering Ôthis is stupid' under her breath.)
John: What's her work number?
John: (calling)...she left 15 minutes ago. God I'm glad I busted my ass to get here on time.
Tony: We're never going to find parking...
Me: Just shut up right now.
Tony: I'm just saying...Jesus...
Me: Well if she hears you she'll just get even more pissed.
Mom: I have to pee.
Me: Go to that restaurant across the street.
Mom: Are they open?
Me: I don't know-go check.They go to restaurant, coming back
John: Lisa just called, she's on her way.
Mom: Did she tell you noon? She said she told you between 11:30 and noon.
Me: I thought she said 11?
Tony: It's going to take her another 15 to walk here from the train...
Me: Seriously...shut up.Tony goes and sits in the car20 minutes later Lisa shows up.
Mom: Finally, can we go?
Lisa: I just have to change my clothes and put my contacts in...
Me: (gives Lisa 'your in trouble look').Lisa goes into house hurriedly and mom follows with leaking bottle of wine from knocking on the door with the top of the bottle. Lisa starts changing cloths, Mom washes hands then goes back downstairs. 10 minutes later Mom comes back up...
Mom: Come on!!!
Lisa: Ok one more second
Mom: (muttering as she walks down stairs)
Me: Oh man she's mad. John wants to drive.
Lisa: Why? We can just take a cab it'll be cheap. Plus he'll never find parking.
Me: He wants to drive.We go downstairs.
Lisa: John we'll just take a cab.
John: No we're already late, we'll just drive. We'll never get a cab over here anyways.
Lisa: Yes we will they're always down here.
Mom: Can we just go!!
Tony: (turns around to hide laughing)
Me: (flashes dirty look)
Lisa: Ok but you won't find parking!
Tony: (flashes me dirty look.)
Mom: (slams car door)John starts car and we pile in. We pull out onto the street and pass 2 empty cabs.
Lisa: (whispers to me) She'll be fine after a few drinks, then she'll be apologizing.
Me: (Sarcastic smile) Oh I just love when we can get together as a family.
John: Which way should I go?
Lisa: (gives directions)
Mom: (gives different directions)
John: (curses at traffic)
Me: We have plenty of time don't worry.Silence till we get there. We start looking for parking and can't find any.
Mom: Fuck! My God its madness over here. Well we should at least see the 2nd inning. ( again a sigh.)
Me: Mom do you just want to get out and we can wait out front till they find parking?
Mom: No I don't want to JUST GET OUT...We find parking and Tony and Mom stash liquor in clothing. We get out of car and the tension, as if cooled by the bottles, magically dissolves.