Learning To Love You More




Assignment #14
Write your life story in less than a day.

Karen Leonard
Buffalo, New York USA



Although I haven't lived much of my life so far, being as I'm merely fifteen, I can still say a couple significant things have happened to me. Even though my life is border line devastation on boredom most of the time, there are some things that have peaked some excitement. I guess I'll start when I was born. I was born in Buffalo, New York, a place I would one day learn to have a love/hate relationship with. They brought me home to my one and only house on Voorhees Ave. This would be the only house I would live in up to this day. My mom and dad tell me that when I was a baby, I was extremely bright, and seemed to want to do things some babies wouldn't usually do. My dad would hold me in his forearm and talk to me for hours, he would tell me. And I would try so hard to say something close to human sounding, but all that came out was baby babble. Seeing as this happened I guess that's where they got the notion that I was a "bright" baby. I was the center of attention with all the neighborhood girls, and quite the object of affection with my two older sisters. "You barely ever touched the floor," my mom tells me whenever she remenices about the past. I don't know much else of my infant and toddler years, other than photos my dad took and that I took my notorious "first" step at a cottage at some unknown lake.
During my late toddler and early child years, things weren't picture perfect with my family. I was in kindergarten or first grade, and I had a severe phobia of being without my family. My mom was a stay at home mom and would tell me that whenever I needed to come home, she would be there. But how often do school nurses let you just go home out of the blue? Not very often. So between being scared to death to ride the school bus and taking family pictures to school to keep me calm, I had a pretty bad experience in all. I remember that I used to go completely wild at the thought of getting on the bus with complete stangers. I thought that the driver wouldn't be able to bring me home, and forget where I lived. But I guess I got over that fear in the years to come. The one time that I remember vividly is when the bus rolled around the corner one morning, I refused to get on the bus and caused a fit of screaming and crying. And I remember that my mom and the bus aid had to push me inside! Now that I think of it, I'm extremely embarrassed.
During my preteen years I transferred schools about four times, which isn't that bad considering what other kids have to endure with moving and such. I started out at a large public school, but soon after my wild outbreaks of fear, had embarrassed people enough, we decided that it was a far too large school for me to attend. So I went to a smaller school. It wasn't far from where I lived and was more managable for someone my age. I remember not being able to wait to hear my name called for early dismissal. School, for me, was the last place I wanted to be. And so I tackled another three years, at the most, there and then moved on to my next school. The next school I went to was far from any regular school you could come across. It was pretty much a private school, that had a waiting list to the moon. But the best part was that we didn't even have to pay to go there. This place would bring me to befriend some of my best friends that I don't think I'll ever forget. I started third grade at Tapestry Charter School. Around these years I put on some weight that all of my sisters had gotten around that age. But I felt like I was the only one. I'm surprised I turned out the way I am, despite the teasing and name calling. But I'd manage. I made the first news paper staff there and I couldn't have been happier. And that had to be the proudest one of my days, it made me feel so important. I worked on it for a couple months but then they started to just let anyone on. So I decided to quit the team. Up to about the sixth grade everything was just normal and slightly boring. You know, the usual, going on feild trips, making more friends, and the things you expect from grade school. But about seventh grade, I noticed boys! And what a discovery that was. In the years to come, they would cause me more pain than anything else. But I still wanted to grow up like everyone else. So, I did. Even though this doesn't have to do with boys, it's important that I tell you these key points. I made three best friends at Tapestry. One being Ashley, second Kelsey, and third Ariel. Out of all of them I'd have to say Kelsey was the most loyal, even though we would get into little girl tifts, she would always be there, and choose what was right. Ashley would be the person I could have the most fun with. I knew that if I went to her house, I would be laughing when I got through the door and wouldn't stop until I got back home. But the main person I wanted to depict was Ariel. She, would ruin so many things, having to do with boys, for me. It's like she wanted to break me down and see me at my lowest. Well, that's what it seemed like. Now back to boys. The first boy I liked, seemed unattainable to me, "out of my league" you could say. But in the future I would learn that, that was all a bunch of misconceptions. I would stare at him and make flirty faces as best I could muster and try with all my heart to get noticed by him, and I did! But I never got an invitation for a date. And by the end of the year, I was pretty much in love, but I couldn't really do anything about it. I don't know why I never got asked out, I mean I'd lost all my baby weight and was looking pretty good, but I guess that wasn't it. Maybe he was scared. So I kept quiet. But then, out of nowhere, comes what seems like a blazing hot dagger go straight through my back. Ariel told me that the guy I liked, liked me too! I was so ecstatic! I had no idea what to do. But then to my amazement, she later told me that he said that he didn't like me and was interested in her. Which as you can guess, broke my heart in two. I was devastated, and who was there beside me? Not hard to believe, Kelsey. God knows where Ashley was, probably off with her first boyfriend, doing things way too mature for her age group, but we didn't care. From that day on, I hated Ariel, and still do.
While I went through eight grade, I discovered many things. Sports being one of them. And getting a boyfriend being number two. I started track and that summer I participated on my local parks softball team. I excelled at softball and wasn't too shabby at track either. So I got a good start on those. But I think I got the short end of the stick with the first boyfriend ordeal. I felt much more mature from than the rest of my friends, I didn't want to make out all the time, that didn't appeal. I wanted to have a bigger relationship than that, but I never got through to him. So, I broke it off with him, and he swears that I broke his heart, but I can't believe that's possible. And so I went on with eighth grade and graduated with better grades than I could hope for, well maybe not in math. But other than that I didn't farely well.
I then applied to Hutchinson Central Technical Highschool, and got in! The second best highschool in the city of Buffalo accepted me! I was extremely happy! I felt accomplished! With the new school year, I got a new boyfriend. And this was the most serious relationship I've ever been in. I don't know why but he seemed like the perfect guy to me. He was tall, matured, and on the hockey team. He was perfect in my mind. I wanted to spend as much possible time with him. We would go on walks mainly and lay in the grass and watch the sky until it became dark. I would constantly get in trouble by my parents for getting home late, but I'd have to say, it was worth it. I know people say that you can't fall in love very young, but I was in love at the age of fourteen. And I knew I wasn't just in lust. I knew the difference. But everything good has to come to an end right? Well, I'd have to say that saying is true. After about four and a half months, he got distant and I hardly even talked to him! Didn't feel like I was dating him! So, I caught the drift that he wasn't very "into" me anymore. But I didn't do anything. I tried to wish for the best and not dread what was to come. I always feel like an idiot when I think of what I didn't do, I should have broke up with him and never looked back. But no, I decided to let him take the reins. And with that choice I got what I put myself toward. I got broke up with in December, over MySpace, MYSPACE! Who does that to someone they once had feelings for? Obviously him. So, I, for the next month and a half I was devastated to the point where I would question all the things I did or didn't do in the past. But thankfully I'm over that and only think about it once in a while, when something reminds me of him or something we did.
Then something completely wrong happened. A player on my volleyball teams boyfriend let out a secret. A secret I wish I never had heard. Sometimes I wish I never would have talked to him that day. But I did and I can't take it back. As I was on the computer using AIM to talk to people. I got an IM from the guy that would later make me feel terrible about what I did. We talked for a while and then some time later, he told me about how his girlfriend was mean and didn't care about anybody but himself. So I listened and gave support, as anyone would to someone who needed it. And after awhile, he told me how he felt about me. He told me that I was like no other girl he had met and I was caring, compassionate, and beautiful. He told me that he thought I was goodlooking from the first time he met me, while we both knew that we both had significant ohers back then. And it's not like I stood to the side line and didn't say anything back. I didn't the same. I flirted with someone and pretty much had him cheat with me! How could I do that! It went against everything I would never want to happen to me. I even let him call me and tell me a quick pick up line or two, and tell me all the things I hadn't heard since the last time I was in a relationship. So in some way, I liked it, but in some other way, I knew it was wrong. But then it took a turn a turn for the worst and people found out, including my ex-boyfriend (his best friend) and the notorious guys girlfriend. So it all came crumbling down on me, I was told by my friend that I shouldn't have done any of it but I didn't think anything would come of it. Luckily, the girlfriend never confronts me about it and my ex-boyfriend doesn't seem to think I'm a boyfriend stealer, as if I should care. But all in all it was a stupid idea to begin with that I never should have participated in.
So, to conclude my biography of my fifteen years, I would have to be very cliche and break off a little pop culture. I have lived, loved, and lost. And I can actually say I've experienced all these things. But all of these things have made me who I am today, and I'm lucky I got to, because most people live with too much caution. I don't think I would take back anything so far.