Learning To Love You More




Assignment #14
Write your life story in less than a day.

Piedmont, California



I was born in a Catholic hospital in San Jose, California. We lived in a house in Aptos with leaks in our wooden ceiling, it was very high. There was a wall in the backyards, and a large plant would swing when there was an earthquake. We moved to a duplex and my dad would go out on my balcony and climb onto the roof and he would sunbathe. He was a triathlete, I wanted a surfer's haircut. Then my mom said they were getting divorced. Then Dad was away and then we were in Massachussetts, in Norwood Massachussetts in an apartment building. I had a room with a Michael Jackson doll, if you pulled the string it would sing a Michael Jackson phrase (Typical: "I'm Bad!"). I would sleep in a red tent on top of my bed, and I would have what I thought was sex with the neighborhood boys. We would play doctor and eat Cheez-Its. My Dad punched me in the stomach because at my afterschool daycare one of the boys that I would play with told on me. My cousins visited and we had! sex too, one of my cousins was growing the biggest penis and he was in charge. I would wear a jean jacket inside out because it was reversible. It had an orange logo on the inside and also on the outside. I would go out in a jean jacket and jeans just to show the other kids that I didn't need a big jacket or 'parka' like they had, because I was from California and we were impervious to the cold. We would go sledding on pieces of plastic and I hurt my back for the first time, I thought I was old because my uncle Ken had a hurt back too, and when he visited us he just laid on the couch and he moved slow and stiff. My parents would argue and once my dad yelled at my mom "You are the reason he bites his fucking fingernails because you nag him and worry him so much" it wasn't true, I just liked to do it. When my parents would be gone at work and I was alone in the apartment I would imagine I was an indian, and I would pull my briefs into my asscrack and I would stand on th! e ounters and pretend I had a spear. Once I woke up early in the morning (I woke up before 8am every day until I was 14, often around 6am) and I found a lot of meat in the freezer so I decided to have it for breakfast. I cooked it in the microwave and I ate two pieces, and they were both tri-tip steaks. They were shrunken and brown and didn't taste very good. My dad woke up from the smell and he yelled at me when he found out that I had eaten the stakes, they were marinating for a barbecue that we went to later that day and nobody said anything but I am sure they were all talking about why I had microwaved all the steaks alone by myself with my underwear shoved up my asscrack at 6 in the morning. And then I would go into the woods near our house and suck the other boys dicks, the arab boy and the chinese boy. Mr. Ben Cho was one of their names. And then we moved back to California to live at my Grandparent's house, my Mom's parents and my dad wasn't there anymore, he ! was in Santa Cruz. I would see him every other weekend and we would go to his girlfriend's house and they made me the first pesto that I ever had, it had canadian bacon in it and it was the first time I ever ate something I thought was strange without complaining and it tasted so good I stuffed myself on it. Back in Massachussetts I was eating whole half-gallon tubs of Dreyer's mint chocolate ice cream and my mom said they would have to put a lock on the fridge. They didn't. And we watched the superbowl with the 49ers and Joe Montana and we trimmed the hedge in Santa Cruz. I liked to trim the hedges and do the gardening and to trim the edges on the lawn, I wasn't old enough to use the mower. Back at my Grandparent's house I lived in the Animal Room, which had wallpaper of jungle animals like cheetahs, zebras, monkeys, and elephants. I would try to go to sleep at night and I would hear the song "Row Row Row Your Boat" in my head and it would be whispering and it would ! get louder and louder until it was a group of people shouting "Row Row Row Your Boat" and then it would go back to a whisper and get louder again, and I couldn't sleep. There was a blanket on the bed with puffy cotton balls all over it, it bothered me. The drawers in the room were all full of my aunt's stuff from when she lived there. She lived in Santa Cruz with uncle Jerome, the funny one, who apologizes for his conduct around young women, whenever there are young women around, and apparently there is a bit of misconduct. He is the funniest uncle, though. I read the Black Stallion, Jungle Book, Huckleberry Finn, and for Christmas my grandparents got me a book of The Collected Stories of Mark Twain. I had more sex with my cousins, one of them had grown a giant dick and he came in my mouth and we didn't know what it was. He said, "It just happens sometimes." We moved to Morgan HIll, which is south of San Jose and sometimes if the wind was right it would smell like sh! it, or marijuana. We lived next door to two old nuns, I wonder now if that meant they were lesbians. Sometimes when I was locked out I would come to their house and they would make me sandwiches and I would watch television. I started cooking dinner for my mom, beef stroganoff and garlic chicken or orange chicken. She would pay me 1.00 a day. I had a nintendo, and I would camp in a tent outside the living room sliding glass door, in the sideyard on some grass. There was a pool. One day we went a pool with my cousins including the one with the dick and we saw a boy with a deformed face, he looked like a cartoon of a dog. We avoided him and screamed if he came too close. I was concerned that he would contaminate the water and I would become deformed by his spittle. When we went back to the car the radio was stolen. It was the first time I felt the sting of unlawful loss. I was a boyscout, I pissed in the backyard. I couldn't memorize the things that I had to recit! e to become a boyscout. WHen I became one they held me upside down over some candles. My mother dated a man who would clap very loudly and rub his hands together. In my memory it makes a sizzling sound, like when you open the oven and the chicken sizzles. I hated him, he brought me my first computer which I used to play chess and primitive games like Pong. It was a huge keyboard that hooked into the television. I already had a Sega which was better but I liked the idea that it was a computer. It was harder to use. My mom was cycling and that is how she met her current husband, Dave, the man we either call Dave or we call him my stepfather. I like Dave very much and I always have. When my mother dated Ted, the guy who clapped, I told her mom I hope you don't ever get married. And then when Dave asked her to get married she came and asked me and I told her it was okay, because I knew she meant Dave and I liked him. He had a beard and he drank beer and listened to j! azz. He had naked photographs of women on the wall in his bedroom, like art photographs in black and white and this was okay with everybody. He played darts and we went to a bar with his friends who were all from England or Scotland. I was upset and I listened to a lot of rap music with bad lyrics, my mother would come and throw away all the tapes with the parental advisory sticker on them, which was all the good ones.